There is something...

Something that makes me tick when I listen/watch/sing something from a band I love. I can't ignore it.
There is something itching in me to be doing exactly what they're doing. Its desire. Its passion. Its such a deep, deep dwelling feeling that makes me scream. I want to be up there on the stage singing my heart out to people I have never met. I want to be in a parking lot after, sitting with people I just barely met, singing new tunes I created an hour before.
I sit in my office watching jon foreman, leeland mooring, brooke fraser, regina spektor--anyone--playing their hearts out and I am compelled. I feel so much. I want so much. I cry because of it.
I have the drive.
Do I have what it takes?
There is so much that I want to say.

I feel safe inside the music.
I feel safe exposed on a stage where I spill my secrets to strangers who think its only a metaphor...little do they know...its truth.
My truth.
Here come the tears now. I need this. I need to live inside the music.
Its my world. My passion. My feeling.
I feel in music. I breathe in music. I think in music. I see in music.

No, seriously, when I think about something...it becomes a lyric, it becomes a picture that I'll later create in notes, rythm, sound.

Maybe I'm not the greatest writer, maybe my piano skills arent where they should be.
I have the passion. I have the voice.
God is growing me as a musician. He's forcing me to use my voice.
And I could never be more grateful.