What I've Gained Because of My Eating Disorder

an ignited heart for the lost
Jesus Christ
power
strength beyond comprehension
endurance
a love of flavor
friends
the ability to maintain boundaries
counseling
arms for the broken
faith
trust that was lost
relationships that matter
recovery
a body that is able
enjoyment in life
concentration
purpose
direction
myself again

recovery is possible.
i've gained back the whole world through my divorce from ED.
life is so worth the fight.
keep fighting, ED warriors

i love you.
-ED fighter support

why MY heart?!

Goodness. I have been feeling an immense amount of heartache and burdens beyond comprehension.
I found myself yelling at God, asking Him, "WHY MY HEART!? WHY DID YOU GIVE ME THIS HEART?!"
allow me to explain.
as you might have guessed through reading my blogs, I have a gigantic, enormous, humongous! heart for the broken and lost. I physically feel heart ache when I think, pray, talk, sing...etc...about it. so, friends of the internet, i was asking God why He gave me such a burdened heart. sometimes, its seemingly unbearable. it hurts so much that i dont think i can move. and whats even worse is finding people who feel the same way seems nearly impossible. who has a heart for the broken and lost? i most certainly do and i really need support. friends, i need your support. can we please be broken together? i need a close group of people that feel the same way as i do to only, simply, dedicate their hearts to nothing else but saving the lost and mending the broken through the One who can and will do just that.
friends, i am heart broken as i write this.
do me a favor.
please, if you have a heart that is broken just like this, please, send me a message, comment, text, call, email...telling me so.
sometimes, the enemy likes to feed lies into my brain saying that im the only one that feels this way. i know im not alone. help me to know that, friends. plase, just do this for me.
only message me if you mean it. let me know that you're on my side of this. i need your support.
this is incredibly serious.
lauren

Is it too much to ask? I just want to save lives!!

Lately, I've been so extremely frustrated. Why are we sitting around talking about which boy is cute, what class to take, when to go to the beach, and even why we are going to work? There are people that are suffering! Girls are being sold into brothels by their own parents because they can't afford to take care of them. Can you imagine what these girls are going through? Their poor, young minds must be so extremely traumatized from what they've been through. These arent just stories you hear to make you feel bad and donate money! These are LIVES! Think about someone you know. What if they were sold off into something so terrible and you never saw them again?! And even worse, imagine someone looking through a window at your best friend who has been labeled as a number, not a name, and that person looking through the window calls out your best friend's number. Your best friend has to do whatever that person says or they will get the worst beating of their life. So its either lay down all dignity and obey someone's selfish desires, or excruciating pain awaits. How will they ever know what love is if this is all they have seen? My heart is broken for them! This is such a REALITY. This isnt something that you only hear about! Its REAL! There are incidences of human trafficking even in the land of the "free", the home of the brave. America is guilty of all of this as well. Look it up and let your heart be broken. For with brokenness comes strength. And with strength, we can stop this! How can we sit back and do nothing? How can we let this go on? I feel so much pain thinking about this, let alone let it all spew out on my blog. I cannot stress to you enough how much this hurts me. My heart is so tender for the broken...thats the only way i can explain it to you. We have to do something. Its our job. This is my destiny. Please, I beg you, dont let this pass through your heart. Keep it there, let it stir and boil. And let your heart dwell on it. Pray about it. Lets do something. Lets save lives.

Purple Plants and Modern Dance

Well, hello, internet world, we meet again.

The other night, God gave me this beautiful vision. It started out as a 2-D green plant. Something a kid would draw...

maybe something like this, but without the pot:

there was a brown background. then the plant began to grow. and as it grew, it turned purple and became more 3-D. then it shrank back down and was the same, baby, green, 2-D plant as it was before. and once again it grew, this time bigger. it became more 3-D than before, and more purple than before...then it shrank down again and started all over again. it kept doing this for a long time. i had the sense that there were more plants growing all around this one, but i couldnt see them. for some reason, i knew that they were all growing and shrinking at different rates and different colors. i asked God if there were any that were growing with me, He said, "of course, but you cant see it yet." so i asked, well, will i see it soon? and He said, "soon enough". i think this vision's interpretation has something to do with relationships. i am pretty much always thinking about my future husband :]] and im pretty sure that God was saying, "I will continue to make you grow, then cut you back so you can grow further. There is someone growing with you, but you cant know it yet. You cant see him grow with you until my timing is right." Isnt that pretty sweet? i thought it was. i cant wait for the day...

also. modern dance, as im sure you're wondering "why in the world is ms. mosher's title about plants and modern dance??!!" well, friends of the cyberspace. i had modern dance today, and i do believe i am progressing, however! i pulled my hamstring today, and its extremely painful. so if you could keep me in your prayers, i would appreciate it very much so. i start dance rehearsals for a show im in this week, and i would love to learn the material without a hurt hamstring. thanks!

ms. mosher.