My Heart Doesn't Move

My heart doesn't hurt a little tonight...
It's breaking open at the seams.

I mean...I seem to know heartache so well that I write about in everything. But here I am, hurting so terribly for something that I feel.
Sometimes, I hate feelings.

Today. Was. Such. A. Mixture. Of. Emotion.

I found out some terrible news that lead me to a place of worship, oddly enough, which lead me to bitterness, which then lead me to denial, and finally I found a place of excitement that took me to a place of awe and wonder, then to extreme longing and desire...the kind that just seems to hurt.

I am hurting.
Jon Foreman stood on a stage tonight daring me to move. asking me "what are you waiting for?". saying that the time is now...tonight.
I stood in a crowd asking him "how?" Dearest Jon, how do I move? Why do I feel like this? What does it take to get up there with you? I'm ready to move. How?

It's no accident we're here tonight.
I believe that.

What do I do now?

If you rip my heart open at the seams, you'll find music. Sweet, sweet music.

the greatest of these

my heart hurts a little tonight
because of what i cant have.
welcome to the place i'll never land.
welcome to the place i'll never learn to stand.

does your heart hurt a little tonight
because of all you can't have?
welcome to the place that you've landed
welcome to the place where you'll never stand.

but i'm calling you
to be brave
i am calling you
to stand up and say
that its love that molds us
and makes us stay
and we're calling you to be awake

does your heart hurt a little
because you're learning to understand
that to welcome you to the place you've landed,
i've got to welcome you with a broken hand?

the greatest of these things is love
and it's for love that i am called to grow
maybe if i travel to the shore
the ocean will take me where i am restored
the greatest of these things is love.
the greatest of these things is love.