all who are thirsty

today at church i realized something that i had forgotten.
a while ago, i was struggling with the idea of healing. some of my friends were involved in sort of a healing revolution i guess we can call it. their whole philosophy was that God wants to heal everyone and will if we have the faith. they questioned, "if He loves His children, why would He let them suffer? of course He wants to heal all of us...and He will!" they figured that everything...i mean everything from cancer to a small splinter could be healed in a matter of seconds. yes! i agree! and i've witnessed such things! such as my friend's voice coming back after we prayed for it. He doesn't want to see us hurting. He doesn't like to see His children in pain. He hates it in fact! But here is where the struggle began:
My eating disorder. At this point you're probably thinking "duh, does she ever talk about anything else?" which furthers my point! The very thing that i thought was destroying me actually brought me closer to my Savior. if i didnt have anything to be saved from, would i need a savior? because i had this incredible demon fighting me, i had to call on someone who could fight it for me. i couldnt fight it myself. so does God really want to rid of something that brought me to Him?
let me explain further.
if i didnt have an eating disorder trying to take a ride along in my life, would i need God to lead me along? would i need Him to fight anything? no, i wouldnt have a battle to fight. so why would He take it away?
Rod Collins put it well. "You talk to me when you have to fight this thing. You talk to me when you struggle. Why would I take something away that causes you to talk to Me?" He was speaking from what he thought God might say. I agree!
Lets get Biblical.
When the Israelites complained about...well, everything...God sent viscious vipers! They cried out and asked Him to take them away. But God said no! He knew exactly what I've had a revelation about. He knew that if He took them away, the Israelites wouldn't have anything to cry out to Him about. God might not hear from His creation like He wanted. The same is true for me and my eating disorder.
Would God love to take my eating disorder away? YES! He would more than love to take it away, but doing so would cause me to be farther away from Him which would end up terribly, trust me.
Instead of having this 'poor me...ive got so many problems...' outlook, im going to try on a new one. 'God saves me from this demon attached to me and kicks his butt because He loves me'. How about that one on for size?
God wants to heal you, but He knows more than we do. He knows out future. He knows what would happen if He took it away. I guess the ultimate lesson is one in trust. We have to trust that He knows what He is doing. And He does. I promise! He knows exactly what He is doing. All we can do is keep loving and talking to Him.