My Heart Doesn't Move

My heart doesn't hurt a little tonight...
It's breaking open at the seams.

I mean...I seem to know heartache so well that I write about in everything. But here I am, hurting so terribly for something that I feel.
Sometimes, I hate feelings.

Today. Was. Such. A. Mixture. Of. Emotion.

I found out some terrible news that lead me to a place of worship, oddly enough, which lead me to bitterness, which then lead me to denial, and finally I found a place of excitement that took me to a place of awe and wonder, then to extreme longing and desire...the kind that just seems to hurt.

I am hurting.
Jon Foreman stood on a stage tonight daring me to move. asking me "what are you waiting for?". saying that the time is now...tonight.
I stood in a crowd asking him "how?" Dearest Jon, how do I move? Why do I feel like this? What does it take to get up there with you? I'm ready to move. How?

It's no accident we're here tonight.
I believe that.

What do I do now?

If you rip my heart open at the seams, you'll find music. Sweet, sweet music.