Recently,

I've been learning a lot about myself and my future.


and one thing I learned is that God gives me songs to write.
this one is a love song.

now, my dear.
He has told me to wait for you.
and I will wait to find your hand and become one.

for i know that my King is doing a mighty work inside your soul
as i sing, during these long years.

now, my love.
i have to imagine the day that we are seen as one.
and you will be more than I can ever imagine.

for i know that my King is molding your heart to hold mine;
as i wait, and wonder where you are.

and now, lover of my life.
i wont try to force my way into your life
because i know to run there, would spoil the big surprise.

its hard enough wondering who you will be.
its long enough waiting for you to find me.
but its worth it my love.
its worth it honey.
we'll love each other until death do we part.

i'll have to wait until love is ready to start.

Permanently Single

not really...
it just seems like it. God told me that i will be single for a long time. and i wonder: how long is a long time?
now that i look back, i realize that i've always been looking for a boyfriend/prospective husband. i never really sit back and let myself just be without a significant other. i mean its really not too big of a deal. i love myself, and when ive actually sat and thought about it, i love being single. i love feeling independent.
like that one person that everyone adores because they never seem to want to have anything else other than what they have. they do extraordinary things like travel on mission trips and such, they direct plays, write music, travel, hang out, have fun, travel, they do anything they want! and i love that. i want that. i want to be that person.

but as i sit here, i want that romance. i want a person to hold onto me, to tell me sweet nothings, to sing to me in their tone deaf voice, to just be with me. i dream of a romance. not the actual person. every time i think of a romance, i dont really think of the man himself. i just think of the action, the actual romance. the love not the lover. thats where i know im wrong. i should want the lover and the love. the man and his romance.

and then there's this: God told me that the reason im going to be single for a long time is because im going to be too busy. im going to be too busy doing His work. yeah. amazing. im excited about that. and thats all im going to say. im still processing it myself.
and also.
theres mexican music and cookies in Moe's kitchen...how can i resist?