I've written it.

I've written my eternal truth.
"I want to see Your people run to You knowing why their arms are outstretched."

Finally. This song came spewing out when I was frustrated. A friend of mine pointed me to a verse that said to pour my heart out to God. I started to think about what I wanted more than anything. There is nothing more beautiful, nothing more profound, nothing more pleasing to me that to see a group of people with lives abandoned and arms outstretched to the God who saved them. I cant explain the joy and utter relief I feel when I see this.

"My joy to know Your children singing Hosanna's and praises to You."

Today, I feel His love in such a practical way and it blesses me.

Thank you, Father, for the music You've given me today. Thank you for the eternal truth You remind me of. Thank you for Your promises.

Who is God for you today?
Today, He is a promise.

Never and Honest Word...

Bethany Dillon wrote a song of what she sees happening...or what she wants to see.
I see a generation rising up no longer accepting lies, running to the battlefield and losing their lives.

I wrote a song not too long ago, but I cant find my journal. I think im going to have to rewrite it. Anyway, i want to write about what she wrote. something that matters. something that i want to see, feel, hear, be a part of.
not just my stupid feelings that dont matter.
and then there's jon foreman.
c'mon c'mon c'mon, everythings waiting.
we will rise with the wings of the dawn when everythings new.

why am i uncapable of writing something eternal like that.
something that matters.
my lyrics are so trivial.
and its annoying.


are we, mankind, so pathetic that we would wait for the presence a near death nation in order to start saving lives?

my heart hurts.

...

I can't handle this anymore.
You figure it out.

Rise up.
I want to see us rising up to do what we said we'd start.

Rise up.
Here is a generation of losers
lost in their mess
gone in their torture

Who's in this?
Get ready to go, go, go.
Who's in this?
Get ready to show, show, show.

Here we go
we're the new generation
Here we go
our enemies will be broken by love
Here we go
Start a new revival stand up to our tradition
Lets start a new show, lets go.

Rise up.
To a new foundation not built on sand.
into gorgeous sights under reaching hands

Rise up.
we're creating an eternal sound
apart from our parents apart from their hounds

Who's in this?
get ready to go, go, go
Who's in this?
get ready to show, show, show

Here we go
we want to be the free generation
Here we go
our enemies will be broken by love
Here we go
start a revival stand up to our tradition
lets start a show, lets go

Jon Foreman Dared You to Move, I Dare You to Love

I was reminded of my purpose at sandals tonight. How many times can I forget that?
I love to worship. I love to lift up my voice and sing to Him. I love making up the words to sing and I love singing something other than whats expected. I love to dance around and allow the passion behind this voice to let loose. I love to raise my hands and point to Him. I love to lift up His name and feel the words of my heart erupt into harmony and melody. I love that the chords and notes submerge me in His presence.
But even more than that.
I love people.
I love being able to talk to them. I love being able to love them with everything I have. I love helping them through their hard times. I love knowing that even my arm around their shoulders is the only comfort they need. I love that I can be silent and know that Im helping. I love, more than anything in this world, being able to reach out to the broken through my voice, my passion, my purpose. I love leading the lost to Him through my melodies...His melodies. Its a beautiful creation, beautiful thought, gorgeous plan He has for me. And its mine.
There's more to this than just loving Him.
Ive always questioned: why cant i just be in love with Him?
Because, Lauren, I've commanded you to love people.
Why did I wonder why I have such a caring heart that is burdened by those who are hurting, those who have been broken, and those who are lost? Why am I so affected when I heat about a broken heart?
Its because I have His heart. He's given me His heart.
It makes perfect sense.
Break my heart for what breaks Yours.
And He has. So why am I surprised.
I dare you to love. Love His children as much as you love Him. I've never been so sure that this pleases Him and blesses Him more than anything.
There will be more to come about this.

i have a challenge for you.

sit down.
think about yourself.
now.
if you were outside of yourself, what advice would you give yourself?


ready?
go.

Lets Change the World!!!

I dont think anyone actually reads my blog anymore.
Thats alright. Sometimes I try to write so that people will read it and have thoughts that were provoked by my words, but in this case, I just need to write thoughts out...or type them.
Lately, Ive been writing in my head. That probably sounds really strange. But I have. Its like Im writing a book as Im living. I sort of, for lack of better words, narrate my own life. But its only after the fact that I narrate. Its not that Im constantly narrating. Once something happens, I will then "write" it in my head. For example, this went through my head.
I walked into my classroom and sat down at the back. Yes, the very back. I thought about sitting at the front in attempts to participate more, but Professor IJustWantToGetYouTalking was intimidating enough to cause me to sit at the back...the very back. My back was literally against a wall. I found myself analyzing the students around me. The girl sitting next to me is sporty which I noted from her jacket that spilled out "KrIsTeN" across her lower back...
And so on and so forth. It makes life interesting I suppose. Sometimes its annoying. I really cant control it.
Love146 will be having a benefit concert in May of this year. I will be heading it up and Im ecstatic about it. My mom and I went to Calvary Chapel to see if we could use the upstairs patio...instead we were able to book the amphitheater! Its huge and perfect for our benefit. God definitely did the work there. We hardly said anything to the pastor...he practically offered it to us. It was exciting and such a testimony of how faithful He is. Also a confirmation for me. I am meant to do this. God wants me to run this concert for Love146. There will be girls saved from their hell because of this concert. I couldnt ask for more! My heart is full of excitement.
I took one of the girls that will be playing at the benefit show to see the space and she flipped out. Completely stoked are the words she used...along with a plethora of oh my gosh's and how did you get this's. Needless to say, Im getting on the right direction now. I feel like Im finally living out what I say I am passionate for.
See, the thing is, I know that I have this HUGE desire to change the world, but for a while, I didnt feel like I was living out what I had claimed to be living for. Its only now when things are actually working out, that I feel like Im living out my heart.
I dont want to be known as the girl thats obsessed with the causes and is all about switching from one to the next all the time. I want to be known as a girl that has a calling and goes for it no matter what the cost! I want to be known as someone who, through Christ, changes the world!!